This is 40!

I have been thinking about 40 because it feels different from 30.

Ten years ago, when I was turning 30 years old, I had the feeling that my youth was fleeting away from me, and I had so many fears about all the things I was yet to accomplish and whether or not I had missed the chance to do so.

It was also a time when I was still dealing with some dark demons and the repercussions of what I thought was a failure.

Boy! I was so naive then. Little did I know that the next ten years of my life would be some of the most amazing years of my life. :)

I had a fantastic childhood, and in those first 18 years of my life, I got to experience and enjoy privileges that many of my peers did not have the opportunity to enjoy. With my parents, we traveled and explored many places and enjoyed amazing experiences, many of which live vividly in my memories.

Oh wow, today, on my birthday, the sun is breaking through the gray clouds of berlin's winter.

Like many of us, my 20s were a time for making many mistakes and doing my best to learn from those mistakes. It was also a time of learning to grow up and adjust to this thing called being an adult. While also still being attached to the teen I once was and wanting to be seen as the adult I expected others to see because I was in my 20s.

I remember this time quite fondly. I made many financial mistakes and poor decisions that somehow taught me the true concept of responsibility. Most importantly, I understood how to make mistakes and learn from them. One mistake I made in my twenties was to think that white lies do not have an impactful effect and that they do not hurt other people, I learned this lesson a few times in my twenties, and it took one last iteration for me to realize that this was something I needed to change.

Today as I turn 40, I can’t help but look forward to the next ten years with a sense of excitement and curiosity. There’s nothing I want or any unique plans or goals that I want to accomplish; I just want to continue to grow, learn more about myself, and see what life has to offer. What opportunities will life present me with? What new ways to learn will I discover? How many new places will I visit? Will I find new meaningful friendships? Will I lose some of my existing ones? will I discover new passions? - I am simply curious to discover more and continue to experience life.

So… This is 40! - I still feel young and ready to show the 12-year-old kid in my heart new adventures and learnings.